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Fleeting Ring Tone by ~barishiman:iconbarishiman:





Fleeting Ring Tone

Trembling hands arrested the note,
a molded division of folds
separating the ten digit lifeline.
Footholds swell in a gravel pit
of weathered stones beside
carved ivory columns giving gesture
to support the nervous breakdown.
Temptation whispers steadily…

“Breathe and wait no longer.”

A beat of silence than digital decay erupted,
a repetition of three before words spoke
unrecognized and old with age.
Once more by request, before blackout,
identity confirmed in backdrop static
revealing truth in distance.

                “Is it on?” – said she.

Bothered conversation flicker out,
the psychosis state of mind
echoed transmissions, emitting
excuses of the forgotten reply.
A will of nuisance engraved
without question, disregard love,
a vile of deafening commotion
hastily submitted for happiness.

”Denial will set in.”

Forget what was said,
life was better…                

                Call End
                  12:53
©2005-2009 ~barishiman
:iconbarishiman:

Author's Comments

I've been working on this piece for almost a month tooling over word usage and imagery. I don't want to give away what the poem is suppose to be, that's the reader's job... oh nevermind. Its about how time surrounding a single phone call can affect the lives of two. What physical voices we hear versus those we imagine.

Comments


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:iconpetit-chou-fleur:
This is really tricky to fathom, I don't think I have the slightest hope of de-crypting it... Wonderful language though, it's a great piece of writing - even if I can work out what it means :)

--
Tranquility interrupted by a jealous mind, life overcome by the grief of the ending, celebratory drinks for a lost occasion, a mind full of black, the tainted, dirty white.
Check out my stuff~~> [link]
:iconpetit-chou-fleur:
This is really tricky to fathom, I don't think I have the slightest hope of de-crypting it... Wonderful language though, it's a great piece of writing - even if I can't work out what it means :)

--
Tranquility interrupted by a jealous mind, life overcome by the grief of the ending, celebratory drinks for a lost occasion, a mind full of black, the tainted, dirty white.
Check out my stuff~~> [link]
:iconbarishiman:
thanks... jezzz I hate to complicate things...

--
There is a reason strong move slow | Trade Relic | dA gallery
:iconpetit-chou-fleur:
Lol, please tell me, I sound so stupid saying it and I feel stupid, I can usually work out meanings of things... I guess I'm tired, this is the first time I've been in all day, it's 11pm here

--
Tranquility interrupted by a jealous mind, life overcome by the grief of the ending, celebratory drinks for a lost occasion, a mind full of black, the tainted, dirty white.
Check out my stuff~~> [link]
:iconpepperrose:
'seperating the ten digit lifeline' what a brilliant image.ill never think of a phone call in the same way again.such a simple thing,youve described so completely with originality and beauty!a strange sort of beauty.:)

--
snow can wait,i forgot my mittens
:iconbarishiman:
thanks... beauty is at our fingertips determing rather to hold on or let go...

--
There is a reason strong move slow | Trade Relic | dA gallery
:iconfaded--soul:
ooh.. great use of imagery here :) well done! very interesting piece.. :hug:

--
*hugz and kissez*
[.faded.soul.] Rayna
:blackrose:
".tease.me.more.please."
:iconbarishiman:
thanks! :w00t:

--
There is a reason strong move slow | Trade Relic | dA gallery
:icondramaticasynaptica:
Very evocative, great pace, quirky imagery all add up to a mad grabber of a piece :thumbsup:

--
We lie down and the snow covers our garments
I prey you
you (if any open this writing)
Make in your mouths the words that were our names
I wil tell you all we have learned
I will tell you everything

Details

June 29, 2005
1.6 KB
46.6 KB
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